This Is Why (A Brookside Romance Book 3) Read online

  Ty takes a step towards me. “I left you a note on the bedside table. Right next to your phone, where I was certain you’d see it.”

  Tyler puts a hand on my shoulder and sensation zings through my body. I close my eyes and turn my chin towards his hand. Even now, after all this time, with his shock about Gabe seething through the air between us, the chemistry is still there. At least it is for me.

  “I promise you I left a note.”

  “And I promise you, I tried to find you.” I turn to face him and oh my, he’s close. So close. I take a deliberate step back because I can’t think with his body nearly touching mine.

  “How about we skip all the bullshit and get really honest with each other, really fast.” he says, his face stern. “You knew my name. You knew where I grew up. You knew I was in the Marines. That was more than enough information to track me down.”

  I can’t believe he’s going to ask for honesty after lying about a note, but I at least, am not afraid of the truth. “You’re right,” I say tears pricking my eyes. “I didn’t try that hard. I knew I was keeping the child and I knew I could raise him on my own and I knew that you had already disappeared on me once. I couldn’t help but wonder what good finding you would do, other than to ruin your life and bind you to me for at least eighteen years? What good would that do any of us?”

  He grips my arms and then lets go and his hands drop to his sides. “It would have given me a chance to do the right thing.”

  “Gabe doesn’t need ‘the right thing.’ He needs people who love him in his life, not people who feel obligated to him.”

  Ty shakes his head and lets out a long breath, his eyes traveling across my face and body. “I don’t think I’ve ever stopped thinking about you. Not once.”

  “What?” He keeps changing topics so fast I can’t keep up with him. A man pushes through the doors, music tumbling out after him as he fumbles in his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. He takes one look at the charged atmosphere between us and heads right back inside.

  Tyler’s entire demeanor softens and he lowers his voice. “I mean you stuck with me. You’re in here.” He taps his head and then puts his hand right back on my arm, his calloused palm rough against my exposed skin. “And you never left.”

  I swallow hard. “This is a lot. Like, so much. I don’t know how I feel or what to do. It’s like up is down and wrong is right and…” I shake my head and wrap my arms around my stomach. His words echo in my mind. You’re in here. And you never left. What does that even mean? As soon as I finish asking the question in my head, I know the answer. I understand what he means perfectly because I feel the same way.

  Tyler leans against the brick wall of the reception hall. “This is most definitely a lot. When I walked into this place I was a Marine looking to spend a night taking advantage of an open bar with old friends, but I walked out a father.” He folds his arms across his chest and stares out towards the sky. “What did you tell him about me?” he asks while I study his profile.

  “I told him you were a war hero and were gone a lot fighting bad guys. All I knew was that you were a Marine and that seemed like something a little boy could look up to.”

  “You weren’t far off from the truth.” Ty clenches his jaw and purses his lips. He still won’t look at me.

  I don’t know what to say. I always know what to say, but right now? It’s all so complicated and affects too many people, one of which is the little boy I love more than anything in this world. I can’t think clearly when it comes to him. It’s all just instinct and a fierce need to do what’s right for him. It’s the very same instinct I followed six and a half years ago when I stopped my feeble efforts to find Ty. I can’t second guess that decision now. I can’t. If I do, my whole world falls apart.

  Ty turns, the light fixture above the door to the reception hall casting shadows across his face. “Spend time with me. Let me take you out and get to know you. Let me get to know my son.” He closes the distance between us. “Let me show you that I’m not the kind of man who walks out on a woman without an explanation. Least of all a woman like you.”

  My heart pounds so hard I can hear the blood rushing through my ears. “What kind of woman am I?” I ask

  “The kind of woman who stays in my head. The kind of woman I haven’t stopped wanting. The kind of woman who became the bar against which I measure every single female I’ve met since.”

  I want to say yes. The word is right there, on the tip of my tongue, and my body cries out its approval. Yes! Yes! Yes! Warmth pools between my thighs and butterflies shiver in my stomach.

  “How long are you here?” I ask. “In Brookside?”

  Ty smiles, gripping me by my arms and stepping so close to me I can feel the warmth of his body through my dress. “A week. And I want to spend it all with you and Gabe. I want to know you, both of you.” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe how much he looks like me.”

  “A week?” I step out of his arms.

  Tyler’s gaze bounces between my eyes, the look on his face so hopeful that it breaks my heart. “And it’s all yours, Lexi. All of it.”

  I shake my head. “A week isn’t long enough. And Gabe is too young to have you come crashing into his life only to leave again after seven short days.”

  Disappointment settles uncomfortably on Ty’s face. “Don’t say no.”

  “I’ve already said it. Gabe and I are fine. We’ve been fine. We will continue to be fine.” I turn away. “I’m sorry, Ty,” I say over my shoulder. How can I let this guy sweep back into my life, knowing that I can’t resist him and that he’s only going to leave again? How can I risk that heartache? And worse, how can I do give Gabe a father only for him to disappear again?

  I wait for Ty to say something, to keep fighting, to try to convince me that everything will be okay. It won’t take much. He won’t have to fight hard. I already regret what I said because a tiny little voice inside of me wonders why I’m settling for fine when great is standing right in front of me.

  But he doesn’t speak. He sighs and when I turn around, he’s walking away, his chin up and his back straight as he stares up at the swollen moon hanging low in the night sky.

  TY

  Annabelle Carmichael flits around the kitchen at Carmichael Farms like she used to do when I’d come visit in high school. When Michelle offers to assist her in preparing breakfast, Annabelle takes her by the shoulders, walks her right back to the table, and helps her into a chair next to David.

  “You just sit right here and take care of little Thomas.” Annabelle stops to pinch her grandson’s cheek. “This is my kitchen. You let me do all this stuff.”

  “But it’s not your kitchen, Mom.” David looks at me, widening his eyes. “It’s my kitchen, since, as you might remember, you and Dad moved out a couple years ago.”

  Colton laughs into his coffee and Dean Carmichael—their dad—shakes his head. David lives in the house he grew up in at Carmichael Farms, a house his family has passed down from one generation to the next for the last century at least. His parents moved into a smaller home on the property a few years ago and Colton lives in a trailer on the outer edge of the farm, leaving the original farmhouse for David, Michelle, and their two children.

  Annabelle turns, pointing a spatula at David. “This will always be my kitchen. Even long after I’m gone.”

  “Some things never change.” I lift my coffee mug in a salute to Annabelle and then take a drink while she nods her approval.

  The Carmichael crew goes about their morning, bickering and laughing the same way I remember from when I was a teenager. Michelle blends right in, quite obviously at home with the boisterous family, even going so far as to get up and make a new pot of coffee, much to Annabelle’s chagrin.

  I’m supposed to visit my sister Paige today. She’s a brand-new mama and I can’t imagine not being there for her—in fact, she’s the only reason I’m here in Brookside—but I can’t get my mind off Lexi and Gabe. I need to see her. Need to
talk to her. Knowing about my son has only intensified my obsession.

  “So. Michelle.” I lean forward and give her my best smile. “If I wanted to find Lexi today, where would I look?”

  She swipes her mug off the table. “Nope. Not going to happen. I’m not going to rat out my friend because you know how to look so sweet and innocent when you smile.”

  “I knew that about you.” I nod, pointing at her with my fork. “I knew that you’d hold out on me in the name of friendship. But here’s the thing. Telling me where to find Lexi doesn’t count as ratting her out because I’m not a manipulative jerk who’s playing games. You have to understand. I can’t stop thinking about her and I deserve a chance to explain myself and let her see that I’m a good man who wants to do right by his son.”

  “Seems to me that you had your chance to explain things to her last night.” Michelle takes a drink, eyeing me over the rim of her mug. “And what did you do?” She puts her coffee back on the table. “Oh, that’s right. You turned around and walked away, leaving her alone on the sidewalk outside the reception hall. If you wanted to convince her you were a good man, that wasn’t exactly your best play.”

  I hold out my hands. “I admit. That looks bad on the surface, but consider what you know about Lexi for a second. What would have happened if I kept pushing her?”

  Michelle makes a face like she’s conceding her point. “She would have gotten stubborn and turned you down just to prove a point.” She leans forward. “But you can’t use that as your argument because in the scheme of things, you barely know her. How can you possibly know enough about her stubborn streak to claim you walked away on purpose?”

  “For one, I’m a very good judge of character. For two, we spent almost twenty-four hours together that day in Key West and I committed every single second of it to memory. And for three? I’m not lying when I say I haven’t stopped thinking about her since.” And maybe my obsession skewed a little on the unhealthy side, but hey, we all have to do what we can to survive.

  Michelle purses her lips. “I don’t know…”

  “Good. Because I know for you.” I smile, pleased with myself. I’ve already won this particular battle. “I only have a week to get to know her and my son…” I trail off and let the smile fall from my face. “I need to know more about him before I’m gone. What kind of kid is he? What’s he like? I need to do right by him…” And for the second time in the same twenty-four hour period, I’m speechless.

  “He has a point.” David rests his elbows on the table. “He deserves to know Gabe. And I can personally vouch for his character. I can’t think of a man I respect more than Ty. Except for my dad because us Carmichaels stick together.”

  Colton lifts his hands. “Hey. What about me? Your dear, sweet brother?”

  David makes a face. “I stand by my original statement.”

  Colton runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. “That’s fucked up, man.”

  I give my full attention to Michelle, waiting as she mulls everything over. “Fine.” She drops her hands into her lap. “Lexi works at the hospital in Grayson. She’s an ER nurse.”

  I smile and stand, my chair scraping across the tile. “Perfect. Thank you. I promise, you won’t regret this. And neither will Lexi.” I head towards the door, sweeping David’s keys off the counter on my way. “I’m borrowing your car,” I say, jingling them over my shoulder as I walk out of the kitchen.

  The drive into Grayson should take a little over an hour, but I pull into the parking lot exactly thirty-nine minutes later. I stride through the sliding doors of the ER and head straight to the front desk. “I need to see Lexi Stills,” I say to the dour-faced woman staring back at me. I expect her to put up a fight, but she doesn’t. She picks up the phone and murmurs into it and a few seconds later, Lexi strolls through a set of double doors on the other side of the room.

  “Thank you,” I say to the receptionist. I knock twice on the desk and then I’m on the move, closing the distance between me and Lexi.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks, folding her arms across her stomach and shifting her weight back on her heel even as the corners of her lips pull up in a smile. It’s small, but it’s there, and that’s all the encouragement I need.

  “I need to be admitted.” I put a hand to my head, feigning illness.

  “Then you need to see the woman at reception. Brenda will get you taken care of.” She turns to go.

  I grab her arm. “I think I’m dying.”

  “Dying?” Lexi arches an eyebrow and shoots me a look that would be the death of me if I didn’t love how tough she is.

  “Yes.” I put a hand to my chest. “Feel my heart.”

  When she doesn’t comply, I take her hand and press it to my chest, covering it with my own hand. Her lips part and her eyes dilate.

  “Do you feel that?” I ask.

  “Feel what?”

  Us. Whatever this is that happens when I’m near you. This crazy, obsessive need to have you touching me and to touch you in return. To delve into your thoughts and ideas and understand every last thing there is to understand about you.

  “My heart,” I say. “It’s racing.”

  “It feels fine to me.” She pulls her hand away.

  “It’s not fine.” I put my hands to my heart again and stare down at them, feigning shock. “I think…” I look up at her, drawing my eyebrows together. “I think it’s…” I drop my hands. “Broken.”

  She laughs, despite her best effort not to. It’s brief, like the smile, but it happened. “You’re ridiculous,” she says.

  “I prefer the word adorable.”

  And that’s that. She looks me right in the face and grins. “Why are you here, Ty?” she asks, still shaking her head.

  Because I can’t imagine being anywhere that you’re not.

  “Because I want to take you to dinner.”

  She shakes her head. “We went over this last night and what happened? Oh, yeah. That’s right. You walked away.”

  “Only because you told me to.”

  Her lips part. “I did no such thing. When did I ever tell you to leave?”

  “I asked you not to say no. You told me you already had. That you were fine and that you would continue to be fine.”

  “None of that sounds like please leave to me.”

  “Okay then, what would have happened if I stayed?”

  The look in her eyes tells me she knows exactly what would have happened next but there’s no way she’ll admit it. “Well, we won’t ever know, will we?” She raises her eyebrows. “Because you didn’t stay.”

  “I make a living knowing when to engage and when to walk away. Hell, most times my life … and more importantly, the lives of the men in my company, depend on me knowing when to engage an enemy.”

  Her jaw drops and she lets out a harsh laugh. “Now I’m the enemy?”

  “No. But, for the sake of time, just let me roll with this analogy, okay?” Holy shit she’s one tough cookie. I fucking love it. “You know what would have happened if I had stayed last night,” I say. “You would have stuck to your guns and I would never convince you to go out with me. I conceded the battle but not the war, a classic tactical move. And here I am for round two.”

  Lexi smiles, a real one. “What do you want, Ty?”

  “Dinner.”

  “I’ll give you lunch.”

  “Perfect. When do you have a break?”

  “Now.”

  “Now?” I look at my watch. It’s eleven in the morning, technically lunch time but since I just ate breakfast an hour ago, my appetite is currently non-existent.

  Lexi gives me a devilish look. She has me right where she wants me and she knows it. “Take it or leave it, Reed.”

  “I’ll take it. What’s good around here?” I pull out my phone and type restaurants near me in the search bar.

  “I eat my lunch at the cafeteria here at the hospital.”

  I open my mouth to put up a fight becau
se she deserves so much more than whatever cheap food and lousy atmosphere waits for us at a hospital cafeteria, but close it again immediately. The look on her face tells me I’m not getting any more out of her than what she’s already offered.

  I dip my chin and offer her my elbow. “Lead the way, my lady.”

  She stares at me for a long moment, shakes her head, and then takes my arm. “I must be crazy,” she mutters as she guides us towards a long hallway.

  This is it. My chance. If I blow this lunch, I’ll lose her and any chance of getting to know my son without legal intervention. I may have made a tactical decision to lose the last battle, but I have every intention of winning the war. By the time lunch is over, Lexi will agree to meet me for a real date, no doubt about it.

  LEXI

  The moment I saw him standing at the front desk, those damn butterflies took flight in my stomach again. Apparently, they didn’t get the message that we are not supposed to care one bit about Tyler Reed, no matter how good he looks in his shorts and t-shirt. His entire come on was ridiculous, okay ridiculously adorable, but it worked. Here we are at the hospital cafeteria, officially having a lunch date when I spent all of last night swearing to Michelle that I would never give him the time of day again.

  “What’s good here?” he asks as he pulls two trays off the stack.

  I take the one he hands me. “Nothing.” I smirk up at him.

  “Great.” He eyes the options in front of us warily. “I wonder what’s worse? Hospital food or the stuff they fed us during basic training?”

  “Not everything here is bad. I mean, the sandwiches are decent and the salads won’t kill you.”

  “With that glowing endorsement, how can I resist?”